He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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