Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize