saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
