I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
