just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
