Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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