Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
