Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
