We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
