I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
