Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
