I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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