honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
