Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
