wakey wakey hands off snakey
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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