I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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