I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
