i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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