Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
