If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
