They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
