hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I checked into jail on foursquare
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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