The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize