I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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