It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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