I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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