when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
