is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Who died my cat blue again?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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