She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
