called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
