one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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