dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
