i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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