Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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