He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
