the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
