why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
