They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
