It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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