i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
