You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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