I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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