Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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