I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
