Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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