Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
