i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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