I can't breathe out the right side of my face
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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