where does the pee come out of this thing
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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