I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
