The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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