moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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