Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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