You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
