ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I can't turn off my feet"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
