Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
