I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
