Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
