How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
