Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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