There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
