Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
