Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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